My military family moved house seven to eight times by the time I turned 8, and 11 times before I was 18. I didn’t yet have a diagnosis of Autism or ADHD, but I was diagnosed with Dyslexia and related learning disabilities at age 7 and had started special education. Then we moved. I don’t remember much about that move or how my parents prepared me for it. It’s possible they did little to reduce the impact on me. Because we moved frequently, my mother thought I was used to it.
Years later, I discussed the multiple moves with her. She hadn’t known how frightened and distressed I’d felt, leaving homes where I’d only just grown comfortable, to start over again somewhere else.
I feared starting new schools. I feared getting lost and not fitting in with the other kids. I was uncoordinated, so I performed poorly socially, and in Phys Ed and sports. I don’t recall services or supports beyond school-based Special Education.
Routines and Predictability
One defining aspect of autism is a preference for following routines (including holding favorite possessions close) and having foreknowledge of future events. These attributes help us plan, organize and remain relatively happy and calm.
When our routines are disrupted, we experience increased anxiety, stress, and difficulty adapting. This can manifest as meltdowns, shutdowns, or other challenging behaviors due to the loss of predictability. Children may be inconsolable, feel unsafe and insecure.
One of my favorite trauma quotes comes from Rusty Berkus’s 1984 book, To Heal Again. “The quiet ‘little deaths’ of everyday existence are mourned as much as those of resounding magnitude, for grief makes no comparisons nor judgments and has no understanding of degree.” (Middleton-Moz, 1989 p. 18) Many of my traumas were ‘little things’ that others didn’t understand. When packing for a move at age 14, I was told that I could not take all my ‘favorite’ toys with me. So, I cried over a firefly pull toy I’d had since I was a toddler. And I screamed when it was taken away.
Trauma is not uncommon, nor does it have to be Big, like abuse, neglect, assault, fire or a death. ‘Little Things’ get to me. While “research has yet to establish clear prevalence rates, the rates of probable PTSD in autistic people (32-45%) are higher than those in the general population. (4-4.5%) (Rumball, 2022)
However, it’s important to note that “Children who receive help following a traumatic experience may be able to make use of their resources to recover and to get their development back on track.” (National Institute of Mental Health, 2024)
Trauma Symptoms and Autistic Traits can Look Alike
Many researchers and writers have pointed out the similarities between autistic traits and the effects of trauma. Both autism and trauma exposure can lead to:
- Avoidant behaviors,
- Reduced exploration,
- Anxiety or depression symptoms,
- Changes in attention or concentration,
- Difficulty accurately interpreting others’ feelings,
- Emotional dysregulation,
- Developmental language differences,
- Difficulty with change or transitions,
- Sensory over- or under-sensitivities, and
- Sleep disturbances. (Stanborough, 2024)
In addition, there is evidence that the development of social cognition (defined as the skills we use to perceive, interpret, and respond to social information) is affected by both trauma and autism. (Lobregt-van Buuren et al., 2021)
Why Are Transitions So Traumatic?
In Transitioning Autistically: A Case of Can’t, Not Won’t, Chantell Marshall writes “Transitions can be challenging for Autistics because we often have a monotropic thinking style. We can be so good at hyper-focusing on one task to the degree that we tend to block out any activity around us.
“Monotropism allows us to establish ourselves within the safe confines of one singular task, and our brains so readily soak up all of the information we are learning. It is a little like downloading a new program – everything else is put on hold until this download is complete. If you interrupt this process, your device won’t be able to use the new program – it will be incomplete.” (Marsh, 2024)
Because Autistics often have sensitive sensory profiles, “our experiences are encoded with greater intensity. This can result in a heightened sensory memory associated with trauma… [meaning] that sensory aspects of traumatic events are vividly remembered, which can exacerbate PTSD symptoms.” (How Are Autism and Trauma Related? – Neurodivergent Insights, 2020)
What Should Parents and Guardians Know and How it Worked for Me
Changes and transitions can be challenging for anyone, but especially for young people on the Spectrum and their parents. New routines, environments, and situations can cause considerable distress and upheaval. However, change is also an inevitable part of life that we can’t avoid forever. (Augustine, 2024)
Academic and clinical websites related to autism and major life transitions offer very similar suggestions to help the autistic individual and family members:
Prepare Early and Involve Your Child: I knew my family would be moving again. When traveling for job interviews, my parents took me and my brothers along to prospective new communities. We had visited several potential cities in the months before our destination was finalized.
Maintain Routines: Keeping to a routine was easy when school was in session. Daily activities remained consistent, providing stability. But at 14, the major disruption for me was emotional. I protested leaving my Best Friend Ever and not being allowed to pack every one of my beloved and necessary toys. With our move rapidly approaching, I became depressed, anxious and had frequent meltdowns.
Visit the New Home in Advance: 14 is a difficult age to uproot any child. That move was to an altogether different country. My brothers and I stayed at home with our grandmother. Not only was it close to the end of a school year, but a high-profile murder made it hard to cross the border. Our parents took photos, but many of them scared me. The school I’d be attending looked like a prison to me.
Maintain Familiarity by Creating a Familiar Environment. I wasn’t aware of my sensory needs at that time, but I clung to and shared my fears with my softest stuffies. My new bedroom was large, and I decorated it to remind me of my favorite Gothic TV drama, which, to my enormous distress was not on any local channel, and I left my room only to go to school or for obligatory family activities.
Communicate Openly: My feelings were expressed as meltdowns. Encourage your autistic child to use their words to express feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to be apprehensive about change and assure them their feelings are valid. Despite loving my bedroom, I did not love my new, rural-looking community. I blamed school for my severe anxiety and depression. I missed my BFF and didn’t make any close friends among my classmates.
Prepare for Sensory Overload: My room was my safe space. Stuffies calmed me and, although I couldn’t have articulated it, also provided vital, calming sensory stimulation.
Seek Support: I had enjoyed theater arts before the move and my parents found a local drama group. I resisted joining; they prevailed. In the first class, the instructor broke us into small groups. Jon (not his real name) and a woman he already knew were my partners for the exercises. We were asked, “How many ways can you say happiness?” I had to go first, having no clue what that meant. Can you guess what I said? Jon roared with laughter, and at that moment, we became friends. We still are.
Be Patient and Flexible: My parents understood it would take me time to adjust to such a huge life change. They were patient and provided love and support. They celebrated my small victories, positive experiences and slowly growing self-confidence. Eventually I accepted my new home and community, thanks to the fact that
“Autism doesn’t come with an instruction guide. It comes with a family who will never give up.”
– Kerry Magro (Apex ABA Therapy, 2023)
Annie Kent, MA, spent two decades working in public sector disability, mental health, and infectious diseases advocacy and education. Diagnosed with three closely related types of neurodiversity, a lack of awareness and understanding led to burnout and retirement from the field. She remains an active advocate, learning and engaging personally and remotely with several Autism and ADHD organizations and Forums. Email Annie at ajollymo@lakeheadu.ca.
References
Autism Spectrum Disorder: The Impact of Stressful and Traumatic Life Events and Implications for Clinical Practice. Clin Soc Work J. 2018;46(3):210-219. doi: 10.1007/s10615-018-0649-6. Epub 2018 Jan 17. PMID: 30100640; PMCID: PMC6061115.
Autism and Trauma: Signs, Symptoms, and Similarities. (2019). Wpspublish.com. https://www.wpspublish.com/content/infographic/is-it-autism-trauma-or-both
Middleton-Moz, J. (1989). Children of Trauma: rediscovering your discarded self (p. 18) [Review of Children of Trauma: rediscovering your discarded self]. Health Communications, Inc.
National Institute of Mental Health. (2024). Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Disasters and Other Traumatic Events: What Parents, Rescue Workers, and the Community Can Do. Www.nimh.nih.gov. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/helping-children-and-adolescents-cope-with-disasters-and-other-traumatic-events
How are Autism and Trauma Related? – Neurodivergent Insights. (2020). Neurodivergent Insights. https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autismandtrauma/
Lobregt-van Buuren, E., Hoekert, M., & Sizoo, B. (2021, August 20). Autism, Adverse Events, and Trauma (A. M. Grabrucker, Ed.). PubMed; Exon Publications. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK573608/
Rumball, F. (2022, March 30). Post-traumatic stress disorder in autistic people. Www.autism.org.uk. https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/ptsd-autism
Apex ABA Therapy. (2023, October 11). 80 Autism Quotes to Inspire and Educate. Www.apexaba.com. https://www.apexaba.com/blog/autism-quotes
Antunez, V. (2023, October 20). Autism and relocation – Living Autism. Living Autism. https://livingautism.com/autism-and-relocation/
Stanborough, R. (2024, March 13). Is it Autism, Trauma, or Both? Part One: Understanding the Overlap. Wpspublish.com. https://www.wpspublish.com/blog/is-it-autism-trauma-or-both-understanding-the-overlap
Marsh, E. (2024, May 17). Transitioning Autistically: A Case of Can’t, Not Won’t – Reframing Autism. Reframing Autism. https://reframingautism.org.au/transitioning-autistically-a-case-of-cant-not-wont/
