One of the questions I always hear being asked is, “What words of advice would you tell your younger self?” Such a question seems very cliché to me. However, just because something is cliché doesn’t mean it’s boring. In fact, our thoughts on this evolve through our life experiences. This is definitely true through the eyes of a neurodivergent person.
Robert Schmus, MSW, LCSW
If I were to go back a few years and talk to a younger version of myself, here are a few things I would want to say:
- It’s okay to not be okay. Let’s face it, there will be times when we feel sad, angry, scared, confused, or even times when we don’t know what to feel. All that matters is that you are feeling. No matter what you’re feeling, make sure not to mask it. Throughout life, you’ll be encouraged to mask who you are as an autistic person, especially your feelings. Don’t give in to this, talk your feelings out.
- Don’t be ashamed. I know this seems easier said than done, but it’s true. You have characteristics that seem different to others. Your focused interests give you strength mentally. The love of music, world cultures, history, reading, writing, travel, and art are your muses. These are the things that help you throughout life. Don’t be ashamed, and don’t hide who you are. You’re the only soul out there like you. Don’t sell it short.
- Be creative. There are a lot of interests and talents that you have. These are the things that make you who you are. You are an artist and a writer who creates great stories and paints amazing canvases. I know you have fears that you might fail, but guess what, it’s okay if you fail the first time. Just get back up and keep using your talents.
- You are not alone. This is very important for you to know. You might think you are the only autistic person out there, but this is far from true. You are part of a large community of people from different genders, religions, ideologies, backgrounds, and more. Like you, they have grown up feeling different and been put in very difficult situations. Of course, their journey isn’t exactly like yours, but you can empathize with them. These are your brothers and sisters in arms.
I hope these words of encouragement help you find your way in this world.
Robert Schmus, MSW, LCSW, is a Mental Health Therapist and Autistic Self-Advocate.
