Many families with a child on the autism spectrum face divorce. One of the biggest concerns in these divorces is what will happen to the children. Parents may worry about how to explain divorce to an autistic child, provide emotional support and reassurance during the process, and ease transitions in family dynamics and living situations, such as preparing the child to spend time with each parent in separate homes.
Another significant concern, and potentially a major source of conflict in divorce, is agreeing on the amount and duration of child support and making plans to meet the current and future financial needs of an autistic child.
Whether parents have ample resources or are barely able to make ends meet, planning for and funding the needs of an autistic child can be daunting. Additional medical, therapeutic, educational, caregiving, and support costs can significantly affect a family’s financial picture. These are not just expenses incurred in the present; the potential future costs of raising and supporting a child with ongoing needs should also be considered.
These concerns may be heightened when one parent has reduced earning potential or has been a stay-at-home parent. Sometimes one parent has not had visibility into or involvement with the family’s financial accounts or resources, creating additional concerns about access to funds during and after divorce.
Regardless of each parent’s level of financial involvement, a significant part of divorce involves the division of assets, potentially spousal support, and determining how much child support will be paid, how it will be paid, and for how long. For families with an autistic child, these decisions may require looking beyond the traditional child-support framework.
The financial and support needs of an autistic child may not end when the child reaches age 18 or 21, or the age of emancipation or majority in a particular state — when child support often ends for typically developing children. Some states have statutes that allow child support to continue for a child with a disability who will not be independent or capable of self-support. The duration and requirements for this support vary by state. Some states also allow for child support amounts above standard guidelines when a child has significant additional needs. Parents may also be able to reach agreements regarding the amount and duration of support. Families should consult with a family law attorney in their state to understand the applicable laws and how they apply to their particular circumstances.
Protecting Government Benefits and Other Resources
When determining child support, parents should also consider how it may interact with the child’s other financial resources and government benefits. It is important during divorce to work with family and estate planning attorneys who understand first- and third-party Special Needs Trusts and how they interact with child support, assets, life insurance, inheritances, and other resources intended to support the child.
In some circumstances, child support can be directed into a first-party Special Needs Trust rather than paid directly to the child. When properly established and administered, this may allow child support to support the child’s needs while helping preserve eligibility for means-tested government benefits such as SSI and Medicaid. The trust can supplement, rather than replace, government benefits by paying for additional needs and expenses. First-party trusts have specific legal requirements and generally include a Medicaid payback provision, so families should seek qualified legal and financial guidance when considering this option.
A third-party Special Needs Trust can also be an important planning tool when parents, grandparents, or others want to provide funds for the benefit of an individual with a disability. Because the funds come from someone other than the beneficiary, a third-party trust is structured differently from a first-party trust. Understanding which type of trust is appropriate — and how it should be funded and administered — is an important part of protecting the child’s long-term financial security.
It is also helpful to work with a financial professional who is well versed in special needs financial planning, such as a Chartered Special Needs Consultant, to help families plan for current and future care costs and support discussions around funding and child support.
Life insurance may also be an important part of the financial plan, particularly when one or both parents have ongoing support obligations or when the child may require financial support well into adulthood. Beneficiary designations and other financial arrangements should be coordinated with the family’s overall estate and Special Needs Trust planning.
Support During the Divorce Process
Working with a Certified Special Needs Divorce Coach can also be of tremendous benefit when navigating the divorce process and advocating for an autistic child’s needs. A coach can help parents identify and become aware of issues to consider as part of the divorce and associated transitions, provide resources and best practices, and offer guidance on questions to raise with the appropriate legal and financial professionals. This approach can help parents look beyond the immediate financial and legal decisions to consider the broader needs of their child and family.
Here are just some of the financial and practical aspects a coach or other professional may help parents identify and consider:
- Who will have decision-making authority regarding the child’s medical, educational, and other needs?
- Who will provide and pay for health insurance?
- How will medical, therapeutic, educational, and other expenses not covered by insurance be divided and paid?
- Who will apply for government benefits on behalf of the child?
- Who will serve as Representative Payee, when applicable?
- Will a Special Needs Trust be established, and who will establish and fund it?
- Who will serve as Trustee?
- How will life insurance and other assets be coordinated with the child’s long-term financial plan?
- How will the child’s future needs be funded if one parent dies or is no longer able to provide financial support?
Planning Beyond Divorce
Becoming knowledgeable and prepared to discuss an autistic child’s life-care needs — and ways to support those needs without unnecessarily disrupting current or future benefits — is vital when planning for the financial support of a child with ongoing support needs.
Financial planning for an autistic child goes beyond determining a monthly child-support amount. Parents should work toward identifying how the child’s needs will be funded and managed both now and in the future, while protecting access to benefits and planning for the child’s transition into adulthood.
For many families, this means looking beyond childhood and considering the individual’s potential needs for housing, healthcare, therapies and supports, transportation, employment or day programs, caregiving, and other services throughout adulthood. It also means considering who will manage financial resources and make decisions when the parents are no longer able to do so.
And if a child is diagnosed with autism after a divorce, or if appropriate financial and support arrangements were not established at the time of divorce, it may still be possible to modify existing divorce agreements or establish additional planning tools. Families should work with professionals who understand the nuances of special needs divorce and the legal and financial documents that may be needed to protect the young or adult child’s interests.
Ultimately, financial planning for an autistic child during divorce is about more than dividing assets or determining a child-support payment. It is about creating a thoughtful, sustainable plan that recognizes the child’s needs today, anticipates the future, and helps provide financial security throughout the child’s lifetime.
Mary Ann Hughes, MBA, is a Certified Special Needs Divorce Coach, Coparenting Specialist, Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach, Family Mediator, and Founder of Special Family Transitions LLC. She is also a speaker, trainer, and advocate, and recently gave a TEDx Talk about her journey through divorce as the mother of autistic children, sharing how advocating for loved ones can help caregivers find their strength and purpose.
For more information and resources on special needs divorce or transitions, please visit SpecialFamilyTransitions.com and follow on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and LinkedIn. You can also reach Mary Ann at [email protected].
