Life Through an Autistic Lens: My Fear of Growing Old Without Financial Stability

I deeply feel time speeding by. The years speeding by. And it viscerally terrifies me. Because with each passing day, my fear over my future grows. It gets increasingly real. At the heart of my fear is this one question: Will I have enough money to be able to live independently for as...

Life Through an Autistic Lens: No Turning Back

There is an order to all things I do. To how things must be done. I start at the beginning and end at the end. I move in one direction. For instance, when you go somewhere, you must go straight there. Backtracking is not permitted. Detours are not permitted. They break the law. If you...

Life Through an Autistic Lens: UFOs (Unexplainable Freak Outs)

Labels. Not the mean kind. Not the kind that put you in your place, or that demystify you for others. The kind found on shirts, couches, dishtowels, and bedding. I'm feeling agitated just writing this. This is difficult for me. Labels. Tags. Those scrunched up, scratchy pieces of paper...

Life Through an Autistic Lens: All Those Steps

There is a glob of peanut butter on my kitchen floor. There is also one on the floor next to my desk, in the middle of my living area, and in front of my couch. A browny-orange trail is also dripping downwards to my elbow, but I leave it there for the moment. There’s a tissue box on my bed and...

Who Is Caring for Whom? Rethinking Care Work and Disability

I feel literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. It’s the night of my choir performance and the choir is grouped by sections and lined up in rows in the community centre auditorium. I find myself in the centre of the soprano section: there’s one row in front of me, one row behind, and...

From Dissertation to Destination: Navigating the Post-PhD Transition to Employment

Have you had a dream where you wake up and realize you’ve overslept and are missing your exam? Where you scramble to leave home, sprint to school, and futilely run down an empty corridor to an exam that’s done? That’s how I feel right now, but I’m not dreaming and, though the situation...